Rachel: "Carolyn's Crotch O' Quotes."
Carolyn: "That should be in McDonald's."

last updated: May 20, 2006
(with help from rachel)
[updates are in this color]

[re: continuously hitting the pointy statues on the table]
"Ow! It hurts! Look at it, it's sharp! Feel it! Ow! It hurts! Why do I keep touching it?"

"Ow. I didn't say ow. Ohh! Who's stupid now?"

Duber: "What? I heard 'try Rachel.'"
Carolyn: "I mean, feel Rachel!"

Carolyn: "Is it cannibalism if you feed pigeons turkey meat?"
Duber: "No... Humans and cows are both mammals but it's not cannibalism if you eat cows."
Carolyn: "That's different! It's like a New Yorker eating a--"
Duber: <at the same time as Carolyn with her next line> "Staten Islander?"
Carolyn: "Mexican."

Duber: "You take everything so sexually."
Carolyn: "That's because you give me so many things to take sexually!"

"It does hurt!"

"I'm better than all y'all."

<to Katelyn> "You have other friends?"

"Milk is <confused> good for you?"

<to Rachel> "I thought there was a squirrel climbing over your shoulder. But it was just your hair."

<to Rachel> "You remind me of Felicity."

Rachel: "David is sexually attracted to squirrels."
Carolyn: "Is that why he likes you?"

"Pope John the 19th."

[re: Catholic church]
"You wave those smelly things and dance."

[re: Capital of Yemen]
Carolyn: "Yemen City! You know, like Mexico City."
Rachel: <gravely> "Or America City."
Carolyn: "There's no place called America City! ...Is there?"

[re: Looking at my digital camera and doesn't realize I'm videotaping her]
"What do you want me to do? Give me a position!"

"I'm sticking onto this subject. Oh, it died."

[re: Charades]
Everyone: "Tv show. Six words."
Carolyn: "Friends!"

<to Rachel> "You look Amish."

<to Rachel> "You look like a Hassidic Jew gone bad."

<to Rachel> "Why are you here in school? Take it off !"

[re: Previous quote]
"Just don't tell David I said that."

[re: After I said how Lord of the Rings was a very white movie.]
"But all movies are white! I mean, the good ones!"

[re: Quoting the previous quote]
"Where are you posting that? I don't want any weird  KKK supporters calling me and trying to recruit me."

[re: My hand accidentally hitting her breast]
"Didn't you notice your hand bouncing off?"

[re: The quotes in my quote book which also serve as my notebook for Japanese class]
"What, you translated it into Japanese?"

[re: Why I called my ex "Kevin" and not "Ralph" (his entire first name is Ralph Kevin)]
Duber: "I don't want to call him Ralphie."
Carolyn: "So what do you call him? Keviney?"

"On a scale of 1 - 10; 1 being Stuy hotness and 10 being ordinary hotness..."

"How do you lick your eye?"

[re: Rachel's shirt that says "Interpol"]
"Interpol... pool!"

<to Rachel> "You're Rachel on top of an 17-year-old on top of an 80-year-old on top of a 10-year-old, which is what Katelyn is."

<to Andra> "If you do have sex with Anton, wear a full body condom. Head to toe!"

"We're on a reality show called 'Our Lives.'"

Galia S: "I've never made out in the back of the car."
Carolyn: "Who's driving?"

"Why are you smelling it? Put it in your mouth!"

"Charles Miller is so ugly, that it makes me wanna rip out my eyeballs, eat them, and crawl out my rectum. That's how ugly he is."

"Now you can climb Mouf Emrest."

"His voice always changes. He hasn't done crapping."

Carolyn: <to me> "Give us your sexy smile."
Sandy P: "That means turn around and bend over."
<pause>
Carolyn: "I can imagine that."

"A McIrish - mutton, cuz that's what Irish people eat..."

[re: Donald Trump on "The Apprentice"]
Carolyn: "He should take off his goatee and say 'you're fired.'"
Simon W: "Goatee?"
Carolyn: "I mean toupee! Toooooupeee!"

[re: Just hanging out with friends in high school]
Duber: "College isn't gonna be as fun."
Carolyn: "Oh, yes it is! Because I'll be there! ...but y'all won't be."

"Katelyn's not white. She's transparent."

[re: An episode of MTV's "I Want A Famous Face"]
Duber: "He wanted to be J.Lo and his boyfriend was okay with that."
Carolyn: "I'd be okay with it!"

"Dumbass Shivanie. That's her name from now on."

[re: A statue of a worm reading a book]
Carolyn: "It's Ray Charles!"
Rachel: "It's Ray Charles as a lizard."
Carolyn / Anita L: "Reading a book!"
Carolyn: "Except it's impossible 'cause he's blind."

"Some girls have five o'clock shadows."

"You have to run for your life in Chinatown."

"Would you rather eat a Poppable or a Royalty?"

[re: Her cell rings and Carolyn thinks it's Shivanie calling]
"Dumbass!" <quickly checks the number> "Hi, Mom!"

"I'm spewing some good ass stuff that you should be writing down."