"Papa Galileo..."

[re: Writing notes all the way on the left side of the room. Rachel's copying the notes, so she turns herself to face the left side]
Mr. Esper: <in the middle of a lecture> "Is this  how you pay attention?!"
Rachel R: <looks around before realizing Mr. Esper was talking to her>
Mr. Esper: "Yes, you."
Rachel R: <confused> "Yes?" <looks around the room and then back at Esper>
Mr. Esper: <glares at Rachel>

Some kid in Physics: <reading the P/T conference sheet thing> "You're Dr. Esper, Mr. Esper?"
Mr. Esper: <nods>
Kid: "Why don't you have us call you Dr. Esper than?"
Mr. Esper: "Because it's pretentious."

"One at a time! I only have one brain cell!"

[re: explaining why he can't give back our test grades]
Mr. Esper: "That's why I have to go to Brooklyn."
Noah W: "Why is it in Brooklyn?"
Mr. Esper: "'Cause I took a walk. Don't you take a walk in Brooklyn?"

"I heard a rumor." <changes subjects>

<to Audrey> "Hey, talkie person!"

"I have two hands, one brain cell."

[re: an experiment]
Mr. Esper: "Do you know what you're looking at?"
Bonnie W: "No."
Mr. Esper: "How come?"

"The round... shiny... thingy-ma-jiggy... things?"

"When you get struck by lightning, whether you got sneakers or Versace shoes on, does not matter."

[re: an electric socket]
"You don't want to stcik your finger in here unless you're masochist."

"Is it clear, is it not?"

[re: someone points out one of the test answers were incorrectly graded on the scantron]
"Very good then. Minus 2 points."

[re: giving out a test]
"There are two problems where you must show your work and there are thirty-five multiple guesses."

[re: Showing us notes on a red transparency thing on the projector]
Noah W: "Why is the transparency red?"
Mr. Esper: "Because I tainted it with my own BLOOD!"

"You know there are things everywhere."