Kid: "So, Mr. Lam, would you vote for Colin Powell as president?"
Mr. Lam: "I'd vote for Colin Powell's wife."

Kid: "Mr. Lam, who did you vote for in the last election?"
Mr. Lam: "I'm not going to tell you. I want to vote for a lady president."

"You don't need to go to school to be a teacher. I failed all my classes."

"If you want to be a teacher, all you do is go downtown and pay a fee."

"It's easier to become the president than it is to become a teacher."

"In America, we have laws, and the dogs start to conform."

"What about the Polish dogs?"

"My friend was very happy because she toilet-trained her dog, which is impossible! A toilet-trained dog! It don't have to go to the bathroom in the streets anymore."

"I'm gonna have to write you up."

[re: Hearing the Woolworth Building has condos that cost only $15 million]
"When are you moving in?"

Cindi L: "That's so much to read!"
Mr. Lam: "But you're an excellent lady!"

"They have dog washing machines. I think a people washing machine is a great idea for an invention."

"Kevin, if you put on cologne in school again, I'm gonna have to write you up."

Mr. Lam: "This is getting ridiculous. If you keep making noise, we can't let you out early."
Kid: "Who's we?"
Mr. Lam:"We can't let you out early, that's it."

[re: After the Day of Silence]
Me: "Are you gonna check the projects yet?"
Mr. Lam: "Yes. I will check them now."
<checks other people's projects, gets to my table>
Mr. Lam: "What is your number?"
Me: <points to the number on my electronics kit>
Mr. Lam: "You're still being silent?"

[re: After Day of Silence, I didn't speak for two more days in front of Mr. Lam]
"This is getting ridiculous. How long are you gonna remain silent? You're entire life in protest?"

[re: Cindi]
"What can we do with a lady like you?"

Mr. Lam: <to me> "Excellent. Terrific man." <checks Rachel's project> "Terrific lady." <checks Farhan's project> "Terrific man."

[re: taking attendance]
"White David is not here."

"I must get this attendance straight."

"You're a bad boys talking bad."

[re: checking Rachel's project]
"Good man... lady."

"This is the last project. After this, we have a nice and easy time."