"Well, I'm a man though."

"Helenski-sensei who is the other Japanese sensei who is a Japanese teacher who is a Japanese person."

"You can bring me an apple."

"There were these two old Japanese women in Japan..."

[re: Japanese custom of bowing; the lower you bow, the more respect they have for you]
"And my friend's 80-year-old mother went lower and lower, but she's just polite like that."

[re: Ms. Lorenzo]
"Does anyone want the job of kicking her out before class?"

[re: Jane kicks Ms. Lorenzo out the next day]
"I didn't mean to actually kick her out."

"The ho has a clear top."

"The ho doesn't stick out or else it looks like ma."

[re: Hiragana "mu" ]
"It's not 'moo,' that's how cows speak Japanese."

Mr. Rolle: "Mooo. Class, mooo."
<class "moos">
Mr. Rolle: "Moo ichido. Everyone, mooo."

<to freshman girl Chris for staring off into space and laughing>
"Stop taking drugs before class."

<looking over at someone's sloppy homework>
"What's wrong with your homework?"
<student looks up at Mr. Rolle>
"What's wrong with your face?"

"How do you say 'I am not German,' Rachel?"

[re: Not having "desu" at the end of a sentence]
"That's like saying... <accent> 'I Japanese. I very happy to meet you. I fourteen.'"

"You know, Chris, college is pointless too. And with the grade you're getting in this class, you won't be going."

Mr. Rolle: "I ate a lunchbox?"
Kathryn: <laughs> "You ate a lunchbox!"
Mr. Rolle: "You guys are so lame."

"Should you answer her? I don't know, I wouldn't."

"You guys just got demoted."

"I make puns all the time in Japanese. The Japanese don't like it, but I still do it."

"We haven't learned the doing word yet."

"We're running out of non-Chinese. I'm just realizing now the whole class is Chinese."

Chris: "You know how we have words that mean stuff?"
Mr. Rolle: "Yes, I'm familiar with that concept."

"It's not like you guys can come to my house."

[re: Teacher evaluations]
"You are my customers and I provide you with service."

"In this book, some of the things they write are stupid. 'People in Japan takes taxis to get to one place to another.'"

Ju Ping: "I looked up the word 'geisha' on my computer and it showed the kanji for it. And the kanji resembled the Chinese character for the male genitals. Is there a reference to that? They're supposed to be entertainment women, not... yeah..."
Mr. Rolle: "Ju Ping, I think you have too much free time."

[re: Ms. Lorenzo]
"I think she's losing it. I really think she's losing it."

Chris: "You know when you have... the stuff..."
Mr. Rolle: "I don't think you should know I have the stuff."

"I do it because I feel you can take it."

"There's a lot of doing in this class."

"We have different words for toilet in English... like 'John.'"

"Barney in Japanese is Godzilla."

"The Japanese are quite overly-medicated."