[re: If anyone wears spandex]
"Not sport stuff. Like regular.. 'I think I'll wake up and wear licra.'"

[re: Yung-Hao]
"You got more issues than magazine wrap, boy."

[re: The difference between macroeconomics and microeconomics]
"Micro is like [Dave] Manno's drug dealing business. Macro is more of the drug trade of the entire country."

[re: After Armen says that $10,000 for a kilo of coke would be unprofitable]
"$45 [for marijuana]?" <to Armen> "That good?"

[re: Armen's saying he has "never sold that amount [a kilo] of coke."]
"He hasn't sold a kilo of coke. Either he gave away a kilo of coke, or bought a kilo of coke, or sold more or less than a kilo of coke, but not that amount of coke."

[re: Types of investment]
<girly voice> "I've invested in this relationship, why don't you invest in this relationship? Sound familiar?"

Mr. Wisotsky: "Problem-based learning..."
Yung-Hao: "That's digusting!"
Mr. Wisotsky: "What's digusting? Problem-based learning?"
Yung-Hao: "That's what they tell you at camp. I'm serious. They threw me in the forest and said we'll be back in a day. Problem-based learning."
Mr. Wisotsky: "You're on crack. When you die, can we smoke you?"

"Yeah, we all come together like Voltron."

Mr. Wisotsky: "By the way, we're Roger."
Derek: "All of us?"

"The math team. Do they have uniforms?"

Derek: "I don't have money to buy a laptop yet."
Mr. Wisotsky: "I'm thirty and I still don't have money to buy a laptop yet."

[re: Yung-Hao]
"Do you live next to a power plant?"

[re: Debate over music being the root of all evil.]
Mr. Wisotsky: <plays air guitar and sings hippie like> "I love peace. Nobody should fight."
Cory: "But that's the white man's peace."
Mr. Wisotsky: <air guitar and singing> "I love peace in many flavors."

[re: Spring break in Cancun]
"If you have to leave the country in order to get a girl, that's your issue."

[re: Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur]
"The two days a year where everbody loves the Jews."

Mr. Wisotsky: "When Yung-Hao dies, we're gonna smoke him."
Yung-Hao: "That's not fair! I wanna smoke myself."

"That's why they call them sweatshops. Americans don't sweat. We lolligag. You know what that makes us? Lolligaggers!"

[re: Armen registering his car insurance under a fake name]
"You're not allowed to make people up. You go to jail."

Mr. Wisotsky: "You can't make up people!"
Armen: "Obviously, you can."

"Like any car is reliable when you put nitrous oxide in it."

"Then we across the ocean and pay Jesus to make the shoes."

"It's not hay-zus! It's Je-sus. I hate it when people expect me to say their names in their own way. It's like if your French friend came over and his name's En-ree! No, it's not. It's Henry."

"Do you go into a Dunkin Donuts and go 'I want a coffee, a doughnut... and a <French accident> cruh-sant! '"

[re: looking at a group's presentation board that features a factory in Taiwan and a picture of two blonde hair, blue eyed kids as labor]
"Those Aryan Taiwanese children..."