[re: after 5th period]
"Do we have school today?" - Emily F

"What?! You sold your virginity online?" - Andi G

"Be your own ass." - Song H

Rachel R: "Wait, was I seven... no..."
Duber: "Wait, you weren't seven? 'Cause you went from five to eight?"
<pause>
Eileen T: "What happened to six?"

"Are you sure it's fifty, not fifty-one [states]? What about Hawaii?" - Bonnie W

[re: telling us what Andi said]
"This is so mean and so funny. I can picture it in my head... We were talking about what you and Rachel's wedding was like. You know how people throw rice? I can totally see Rachel coming down the aisle with people throwing rice and David running behind her with a bowl trying to catch it all." - Gus W

[re: at Key Club Convention in Monticello, NY while watching hordes of KC'ers walk by]
Duber: "Debbie, can I ask you something?"
Debbie V: "Yeah, sure. What?"
Duber: "Did um... Did Key Club get ugly this year?"
Debbie V: <jumps up> "Yes! Yes! They so did!"

[re: asking her if she thought I was gay]
"I didn't think so. On the other hand, you dress pretty decently." - Elizabeth Y

"You're too hot. I think we should make you fat." - Jessica K

"Bulimia is fun! Puking and laxatives!" - Andi G

"You can create any scholarships if you have money... I'm going to give money to people with... eyes." - Andi G

Duber: "Who wants an orange vagina?"
Jessica K: "I do!"

Duber: <telling Emily what my uncle said in Canto> "He was like... 'yut gaw Chen. yut gaw Fung. Deem guy yow gum gwy daw Emily ah?!'"
Andi G: <laughs hysterically>
Duber: "Like you know what I just said?"
Andi G: "I do! Why are there so many Emilys?!"

Duber: "See what happens when you don't save?"
Carly G: "You get unfucked."

"Andi and David, it might've been Bumblefuck." - Carly G

"I live in South Buttfuck." - Andi G

"Touchι! ...haha! It sounds like tushie !" - Andi G

[re: Megan]
"Use her properly." - Andi G

"Would you go down on Bush? ...I mean, the President!" - Carly G

"One big boob is better than no big boob!" - Andi G

'"This looks littler than this one. This jiggles a little more." - Andi G

"Fake boobs are fun." - Andi G

"God, we're just talking about boobs. Boobs! Boobs! Boobs!" - Andi G

"Girls and boobs." - Andi G

<shouting out loud>
"If you were straight, I'd be all over you." - Debbie V

"David, how do you spell S-A-R-S?" - My dad

Emily F: "You're going to Vassar?"
Charlie L: "What's wrong with Vassar?"
Emily F: "Nothing... if you have a vagina."

"Well, I don't know Mr. Lam so I'd do it with him." - Eileen T

"Those three come in a pair." - Eileen T

"Why don't you have a penis bra?" - Christina

[re: Emily, Me, and Rachel are all walking in a row]
"Look at that... he's got two girls... he's a real Ladies' Man." - Some Random Guy In Street

"Oh it doesn't work! You have your zipper to protect you!" - Davina K

[re: a banana]
"The long phallic image is sticky... and in my mouth." - Christina

"I've had this conversation before. Your cousin has four balls and a sac. That's nice." - Andi G

<sitting next to Andi, Aurora, Christina, and me>
"I live in Chelsea, and I'm not homophobic or anything but there are things that happen that creep me out!" - Willie

<later>
"One lesbian is fine. Two lesbians are... okay... But three lesbians... they'll surround you and want to castrate you!" - Willie

"I don't like sitting next to David, his legs are warm." - Katelyn McT

Eileen T: "Klaudia, stop touching me!"
Klaudia C: "But it feels so good!"

[re: Rachel and I are running around hitting each other]
"What the hell is wrong with you two?! You're like an old married couple!" - Roman G

<to Me about Rachel>
"Are you just toying with this poor girl's emotions?" - Boy in Key Club

"We need guys!" - Weijie H

[re: On the NYC History trip to the Tenement House... There's this actress who plays an immigrant girl and we're supposed to interact with her]
James: "My little brother [me] can't read and write."
Immigrant Girl/Guide: "He should go to school."
Our "Father": "And away from his sisters!"

James: "Is the sewing machine dangerous?"
Immigrant Girl/Guide: "It can be if you're thinking of something else."
Our "Father": "Like your sister."

[re: Me]
"He does things to your butt when you're not looking." - Andi G

"David's going to go on a raping spree." - Carolyn H

[re: Me]
"Put your tongue back in." - Carolyn H

[re: Me]
"He's depressed. That's why he's kissing girls." - Eileen T

"David, you're such a kiss queen." - Wangui M

[re: Eileen kisses me]
"That'll teach you to kiss girls!" - Eileen T

Emily F: "I just want you guys to know that I'd never marry an old guy to get his money."
Pamela T: <looking interested> "Define 'old.'"

Duber: "Girls who take steroids are lesbians." <looks at Rachel>
Rachel R: "Shut up!"
Emily F: "Rachel takes steroids?"

Duber: "Don't you love to go down South?"
Emily: "Yeehaw."

[re: Rachel and I]
"You seriously love each other." - Emily F

"Why do squirrels twitch like they're on something?" - Pamela T

Rachel R: <to me about her and Kenny> "We're gonna have gym together."
Duber: "You're gonna have WHAT together?"
Rachel R: "Gym together."
Duber: "Ohh."
Kenny P: "What did you think, gym was a guy or something?"
<silence>
Duber: "Now, I do."

[re: The Glass Menagerie. Class discussion about how Amanda told her daughter Laura she's flat-chested, which caused a bunch of guys saying that it was alright for the parents to tell their daughter that]
"Let's take it from a guy's point of view. If you had a small dick, would you want your parents telling you?!" - Jennifer

"I'm sure you'll like it, Mr. Mott. It has a nice concoction of fruit's juices."- Ben

[re: the club - Seekers]
Bonnie W: "I don't understand how they can allow a Christian club in school and not like... a Nazi club or something."
Kathy Z: "Do you want to start the Neo-Nazi club in Stuy, Bonnie?"

Lisa F: "Didn't Jesus Day happen on Christmas or something? Isn't Jesus Day once a year?"
Andi G: "Lisa, everyday should be Jesus Day."

Duber: "What are you doing?"
Emily F: "I'm touching you in a very horny manner."

"That doesn't have a thing. Oh, is he pointing at it?!" - Electronics Jennifer

"Oh, no! We're girls now!" - Eileen T

"Eating healthy is essential in my life." <takes a bite out of her ice cream> - Shany D

"Mr. Lam, you're not civilized, you dirty whore!" - Kid in Electronics

"Come on, go in the hole!" - Brian

Duber: "Isn't it ironic that Germany has more of a tolerance for homosexuals than in the United States?"
Andi G: "Think of the big butch women there."

"That's because of the exercise of bending down." - Andi G

"I wanna make that blowjob thing." - Edwin

"All the same letters look the same." - Andra B

"What job?! Are you selling yourself or something?!" - Pamela T

"I'm kinda gay but not that gay." - Charlie L

"My parent's didn't let me because I was too suck... sick!" - Carly G

"Gianormous Jesus Ball!" - Some Kid in Electronics

[re: Rachel]
"You're Mandarian? You're a freak." - Anu K

[re: me quoting her]
"Oh my God, you're writing that down? You have issues." - Anu K

[re: Rachel quoting her]
"You too? Oh my God, are you guys related or something?" - Anu K

"Why is it when you have so many boys together, they act stupid?" - Cindi L

"Whip it! Whip it!" - Richard

[re: Mr. Mott mentioning reefers]
"We call it weed, my people." - One of the Michaels in my English Class

"I remember that suicide people commit suicide." - Richard

"He was like a philanthropist... I mean, ventriloquist." - Richard

"...I could like guys." - Richard

Richard: "I wish I were a girl."
Lisa N: "You know there are ways you can do that."
Richard: "No, I wanna be a hot chick."

"I wanna have guys eating out of my hand." - Richard

"But if I were a girl, I'd be hot and I'd be a lesbian." - Richard

"You have to suck on it to taste the wasabi." - Klaudia C

Duber: "Ew. That was one of the worst things I've ever sucked."
Klaudia C: "Well, Rachel liked it."

"Yeah, I know. I'd like to suck on hot peas." - Klaudia C

<walking up to Rachel and I>
"MEOW!" - Kenny P

[re: five bottles of water on the table in the Physics lab room]
John H: "Why is there seven bottles of water?"
Song H: "John... there are five bottles of water."
John H: "No, there are seven!"
Song H: "Where do you see seven?! There's five!"
John H: <bitchily> "Well, there's seven when I'm  looking!"

[re: watching The Secret Life of the Office in Electronics... The cartoon people are talking and they suddenly start touching each other]
"Mr. Lam, this is a dirty movie! I don't think we should be watching this." <TV screen blacks out> "They're moaning, Mr. Lam!" - Cindi L

Mr. Lam: "This is the last video of the office."
Cindi L: "So they had to end it with cartoon porn?!"

"He's walking now? When?" - My dad

[re: telling her majority of Americans believe only Iraq played a part in 9/11]
"We have people now who are like 'Ooh... terrorists... Ooh, I have a flag... Ahhh!" - Andi G

Duber: "You know what you are, Andi? It rhymes with bike." [dyke]
Andi G: <thinks> "Kike?"

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