[re: Chemistry lab]
Austin D: <walks up behind us, reads our lab paper data> "Fuckers!" <walks away>
Eva T: "Why don't you go up to him, read his paper, and say 'Fuckers!' to him?"

Ms. Luczak: "Okay people... Thirty more crunches and twenty more sit-ups..." <class groans>
Debbie V: "I'm sorry but my family don't do crunches. I come from a long line of couch potatoes."

Eva T: <doing holding crunches> "19..." <sees that I stopped> "19... 19!"
Duber: "I'm not doing any more. You can't control.."
Eva T: "I SAID 19, DAMN IT!"

Eva T: <doin crunches near the weightlifting seat thing> "23... 24... 25... 26... <sees the dumbell coming towards her head> twenty-se...ahhh!!!" <jumps up and moves away>

Duber: "Wanna hear something funny? My parents think I have AIDS..."
Eva T: "Why's that?"
Duber: "Because they assume I'm kissing people."
Eva T: "Ooh. I forgot you can get AIDS from kissing people."

[re: My first ex and I]
"He went from first kiss to third base in five minutes... That's so not fair!"- Deniz E

"Everyone was laughing at me... When Yoon said 'Do you think Marius is cute, Jessica?" and I'm like 'Huh? What?' ...I heard you! You were the one who laughed the loudest!" - Jessica K

"Oh my god, David, you're such a slut." - Emily F

"You're not a slut. You're a man-whore." - Kristen A

Debbie V: "Yes David, you're such a slut."
Eva T: "That confirms it."

[re: Chemistry]
Eva T: "We have too much fun in class."
Duber: "Yeah, that's why we're so stupid."
Eva T: "Yeah I know..."

Julie : (to Deniz's mom) "We're doing voodoo on people... Can we get a lock of your hair?"

Julie: (to Deniz's mom) "We're trying to do a seance... Get out mom."

[re: Austin is wearing a tight white shirt with some sort of large ass collar/zipper thing.]
Eva T: "Eeewww, what the fuck is Austin wearing?"
Duber: "I don't know. He's like the flying nun."
Eva T: "Haha... <pause> That's like the tightest thing I've ever seen on a guy."
Duber: "Yo Debbie... Look at what Austin's wearing..."
Debbie V:<looks and laughs hysterically>

"My mom liked you. She couldn't remember you doing anything bad. She liked Andi too but she thought that Andi was too skinny..." - Deniz E

"My mom didn't like the fact that you peed in our toilet. She thought it was distasteful. She really didn't like how we were burning candles and doing the seance. My mom likes you less now. She thought Andi was a model citizen. Even though, she didn't seem to notice Andi was leading the whole seance... And she hates Julie with a passion." - Deniz E

"We're all stupid and useless if you think about it." - Eva T

"I got a weather thing on my website! Aww, the snowflakes are so cute... God, I'm so pathetic." - Eva T

[re: time is 11:42 pm]
"I'm eating breakfast now..." - Eva T

"My bed is trying to seduce me." - Eva T

"Shh. You're disrupting the karmic flow of energy in my aura... Someone make me shut up." - Eva T

[re: her party]
"So you're coming Friday night? Christine and I made a seating chart." - Eva T

[re: Porn titles on Friends episodes]
Andi G: "So what else did they say?"
Duber: "Hmm... Forrest Hump?"
Andi G: "No... That wasn't one... But that's a good one though... Good Will Humping... In & Out & In Again..."
Duber: "Buffay the Vampire Layer... Lawrence Of Alabia... Inspect-her Gadget... Dr. Do-Me-A-Little..."
Andi G: "I gotta start watching porn."

"Ooh. I came up with a title. Night Of The Giving Head." - Andi G

[re: Andi and I blowing confetti at each other on the table while volunteering at an elderly home]
Michelle: "They're having a confetti war... Watch, I'm gonna be stuck cleaning them off the floor later..."
Andi G: "No! We're very careful. <checks floor> See there's no confetti on the floor. We're expert blowers."

"Are you a shampoo bottle, David? I don't think so!" - Lisa F

"It's time for me to spread out. I'm Beyoncé to your Kelly and Michelle." - Deniz E

<jumping up and down>"Crunches! Crunches! Crunches! Crunches! Crunches! Crunches!" - Eva T

[re: English essay]
"So, I'm gonna bullshit about how Enoch's wise blood ruins his life. I mean, come on! The guy's a monkey!" - Tatyana T

(Lady preaching about Jesus Christ on the subway)
Preaching Lady: "Jesus Christ will open our eyes to the truth. Not Islam. Not Buddhism. You don't need to sacrifice any animals."
Duber: "Go away! We worship Satan! We do all of Beelzebub's deeds! You see any sacrificial lambs? No! That's because we sacrificed them! Go away!"

Preaching Lady: "Jesus don't want men with men or women with women..."
Ashley B: <to my first ex and I> "I think she's talking about us..."

Preaching Lady: "It doesn't matter if you're looking for a man to make you happy, or a woman to make you happy, that can't give you what Jesus can!"
Ashley B: "What if you're looking for both?!"

"I joined the fencing team." - Emily< F

"My legs are cold." - Eva T

"So Eva's going to sleep. Her bed looks pretty damn sexy tonight." - Eva T

Andi G: <screaming/singing> "Merry Christmas to all! Now you're all gonna die!!!"
Duber: "Uh... Andi... There's a cop right behind you."
Andi G: <turning around> "It's a song! I swear!"

[re: Ashley B]
Wendy L: "She's not straight?!"
Shravani V: "Ewwwwwwwww..."
Wendy L: "Well, that explains a lot actually..."

"Oh my god! It's the paper clip... Eek! That thing freaks me out in Microsoft Word 2000 *shudders* Get it away! Get it away! It is scary though! Very freaky clip. It raises its eyebrows at me. *shudders again*" - Pamela T

"Not everyone can share your God-given good looks, David!" - Deniz E

"I don't remember anything on that day. I was too high from Beatles music." - Jessica K

"On behalf of all the dense people out there who just don't get it, I'm sorry." - Jessica K

"Laptops make funny noises." - Emily F

[re: Chris D'Ambrosia]
"He is a fine specimen of a male." - Roman G

"Woah David, your face changed! Dude, you're hot." - Liz A

"What's a bulbous?" - Andi G

"You hate cheese. You're a Cheesist." - Emily F

"It's called a dictionary, and I'm not one." - Eva T

<crossing the street>
Duber: "The bus goes boom."
Gus: "The ferry goes splash."

"...And it's not an obsession, don't even think it. I would never wait by the first floor to see her go into the pool or crazy freaky stuff like that. Besides, you can't tell one ass from another in there." - Gus W

"Wahoo! Let me have a party!" - Elyse B

"Asian guys have big dicks, yo!" - Amy W

<written on board in history class>
"Sycophant - one who seeks favor by flattering people of influence (terrific word for SATS... d to "dis" your classmates)"

"Well my guy has a hard name too... He's got hard other stuff also... Sorry, I couldn't help it." - Samantha M

"If I ever have a son, I'm gonna name him Bambi, so there's a better chance of him turning out the way I want him to." - Julie

Heather C: "What's a clitter?"
Andi G: "Go home and explore."

[re: The Olympics]
"Weeee! Cute guy in tight pants!" - Roman G

"Yay, cute guy from the USA won silver medal. It's his first time at the olympics! Hehe, the god and bronze both go to the Russian guys that are uglyyyy... No wait... Cute guy from US won bronze... Oops. Ok actually, nevermind. He isn't that cute anymore." - Roman G

[re: Olympics Closing Ceremony... The Children of the World are singing]
Roman G: "Michael Jackson is loving this. All those little children."

Duber: "Your name was written in capital letters, though..."
Gus W: "Wait, was it..." (air-writing his name) "G... U... S... in big letters?"
Duber: "Yeah. Generally, capital letters are written like that."

"Wait, you forgot my thing, you know, my dick." - Andi G

"Me and my 10 minutes. This is a VERY long ten minutes!" - Jessica K

"...You've been taking less quotes from me. I'm almost sad." - Jessica K

"Oh no! You've gone into the 'taking quotes' mode again! No more! No more! You can't make me stop talking..." - Jessica K

"I think 'J' names are just cute. Joey is such a cute name and Josh. And Max even thought it has no J..." - Eva T

"What? What's so funny? Stupidity is not funny! Wait... Okay, nevermind." - Eva T

"I don't like muffin tops or bottoms..." - Bonnie W

"What the fuck... 'What does the cursor do?' It's a cursor for god sakes, it points!!!" - Emily F

"This is one of those moments when you're going to have to explain it to me... step by step." - Jessica K

"No! Stop taking quotes from me!" - Jessica K

[re: what to call a story I've been writing]
"Sebastian's Promise.... Coming to a theatre near you... A beautiful told story about two young boys who are brought together by a crazy twist of fate. They fall in love, but love doesn't always last forever..." - Samantha M

(>:o) "That should be your smiley. You take away my smiley. You're mean." - Jessica K

[re: Guy at Chelsea Piers figure skating really well]
Andi G: "He's so good..."
Duber: "He's probably gay..."
(later, being too helpful to Andi on the ice)
Duber: "Okay. He's probably not gay..."
Heather C: "He's probably a pedophile."

<to me> "Yes! Finally! You don't quote me saying anything disgusting!"<to Gus> "My thing is no longer distorted! Your thing is now dis... Oh no!" - Andi G

"I need to call my friend MoMo so we can get ice cream together." - Gus W

"Straight guys suck. I think they should just go away." - Eva T

[re: arguing with Roman about the almost naked men in Vibe magazine...]
"I don't like seeing naked men, I'm sorry if that's foreign to you!" - Gus W

[re: after finding out Roman knows Avi]
Eva T: "It's a small, small world."
Duber: "It's a small gay world."
Eva T: "And I feel honored to be a part of it."

"But when a girl does it, it's like 'Woah! You're naked!'" - Wangui M

"No one gets in my pants!" - Gus W

"Do you have the time? Why, yes, it's vasectomy time." - Gus W

"I can drink all the (Code Red, especially) Mountain Dew I want. 'Cause like you know how they say it lowers sperm count and all that... Well... heh, what do I care? I'm not making any babies anytime soon... That was my discovery of the day." - Roman G

Emily F: "There's two layers! Cheese and bread!"
Gus W: "Wow?! Really?! Pizza with two layers?! That's a revelation!"

<to the pizza> "Mmhmm. Hello to you too!" - Gus W

"We're fascinated by small things." - Emily F

"Wow. I didn't recognize the word 'electricity.' I was like, 'hmm, I wonder what language that is...' I'm thinking something may be wrong with me." - Roman G

"Crotch away to the future." - Deniz E

"I like Celine Dion. Dammit. I do! Her new song is cool. I'm so ashamed. She is so uncool." - Roman G

[re: Roman's bday cake that is shaped like a penis]
"Yes. I want me some of that penis." - Eugene

[re: the white frosting on the cake]
"Oh! It's cum! That's what it is." - Gus W

[re: watching porn on TV, the girl is giving the ugliest [we think he's a zombie] guy head...)
Gus W: "Where did that come from?"
Maya: "From between his legs, I think."

[re: watching porn on TV]
"That can't be a nurse, she has breasts!" - Maya

Maya: <staring at the penis cake> "I didn't realized guys have penises, where do you put them? Is it just there? Does it retract?"
Julie: "Yes. They have retractable penises."
Andi G: "But it's usually only this long" <measure two inches with her fingers>

[re: Latin dances]
"All you get is some sultry moves, bitch!" - Debbie V

"My ass is definitely always a little moist." - Andi G

"No... I'm not privileged in having a penis..." - Andi G

 "Who what where in whom?!" - Andi G

[re: the family I created in the Sims, it's Tatyana, Roman, Gus, Deniz, and Andi... Their last name is a combination of all their last names...]
"Tsyldinsterile? That's so wrong. Who has the last name of Erol?! .........oh!!!" - Deniz [Erol]

Duber: <sarcastically, to Andi> "You're remarkably ugly."
Andi G: <laughing semi-hysterically, pauses> "I'm not supposed to laugh."

[re: we were passing out granola bars to the March of Dimes walkers... they're only allowed one each since there were a lot of walkers]
Emily F: <yelling at the walkers while handing them out> "One! Only take one! One only!" <someone grabs five from her, Emily sorta goes after them> "ONE! I SAID ONE! WHAT PART OF ONE DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!?! ONE!!!"

Duber: "I'm broke..."
Jenn L: "But you're still sexy..."
Duber: "But sexy doesn't buy you stuff..."
Wei: "Yes it does. You just need to know how to use it..."

[re: the crotch-less panties in a magazine]
"Where did the crotches go?!" - Roman G

[re: the bras in the magazine]
"Those bras have nipples on them..." - Roman G

"Bible people!" - Roman G

"That could easily spray onto my pants, shut up." - Gus W

<to Roman> "Don't ruin his life just because you're horny!" - Tatyana T

[re: the guy Roman talks to online]
Duber: "He's probably some 40-year-old pedophile."
Tatyana T: "But he's a good Catholic. He's a good Catholic pedophile."
Gus W: "He's a priest."

"Why Kevin would fit in nicely with my friends"
"Oh yeah?! Well, you look like the Keebler Elf... You make Andi look beautiful!" - Kevin R

"The sexual innuendos coming out of Pamela."
[re: Kevin]
"He lives in Jersey, right? So you're going down? ...How long does it take? ...See, I wanna know like... David, you start! ...Here, eat this. Oh my god, you made my mind bad. Now, I think naughty things!" - Pamela T

[re: what is written on the board for English class homework]
"Africans for Thursday, eavesdrop for tomorrow"

[re: eavesdropping for homework]
"Take my work with me? Why would I do that? Today is my last day. I'm #2 at the office. I want to be #1 though... I can't be #1. That guy closes his case in the bathroom. Haha. All his cases are closed in the bathroom. I can't do that... He's smarter than me. I think he knows more than I do but I do a more thorough job... What's unique about Turkey? Everything is unique about Turkey. The history, the art... That's why I'm going there. I like the history, the artwork. I just hope I get back alive. There's like a war there. Everybody has some stones..." - Lady on the M22 bus

"And he went babbling on and on for 10 minutes about the cat..." - Same lady on the M22 bus

"...and she had some big melons." - Guy on the Q train

[re: sharing "words of wisdom" in GLASS]
"Don't climb through barbed wire into a cow field, they run after you." - Elina

[re: movies on Lifetime]
"This is about the murdering stepmother who I wanna screw!" - Andi G

[re: question - "What was your favorite toy as a child?"]
"When I was little, I used to play with... myself." - A girl from GLASS

"My light bulbs are magical." - Emily F

"Wanna go to Book-off? BOOK off, I said BOOK!" - Gus W

Duber: "What are you doing for Thanksgiving?"
Lisa F: "Grandparents."

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