[re: The Cult 45 Drink]
Duber: "This tastes like a Cum Shot."
Zoewy S: "WHAT? No, it doesn't!"

Duber: "Most Chinese people have AIDS. It's a special kind that's airborne. I'm sorry, Jamie."
Sara W: "Does this mean we're all Chinese?"

[re: Playing Taboo]
Dustin: "It's a fruit."
Shani D: "A vegetable!"

Jamie C: "I think I borrowed it someone."
Duber: "You mean lent?"

Zoewy S: "Hey, you spelled 'lent' wrong."
Duber: "No, I didn't."
Zoewy S: "Isn't it L-E-A-N-T?"
Duber: "...No."
Zoewy S: "Oh, then I'm spelling 'lent' wrong."

<Dustin holds Sara W>
<Duber holds Jamie C>
EJ P: "Damn it, where's Zoewy?"
Justin D: 'WHAT ABOUT ME?!"

"Obviously I'm not Asian." - Dustin

"We'll have a pussy party." - Jamie C

Dustin: "You look like Jack Daniels."
Jamie C: "Do you mean Captain Morgan?"
Dustin: "Yeah, Jack Daniels."

"I've been gone for only a week and you replaced me with frozen dinners?!" - EJ P

Dustin: "Don't you mean liver?"
Jamie C: 'It's okay, I have a stomach of steel."

Duber: "Hey, it looks like a black Pac Man."
Sara W: "Does that mean the real Pac Man is Asian?"

Sara W: "You're gonna miss [the cats] when you're in South Africa."
Jamie C: "Yeah... Unless I get a monkey!"

Zoewy S: "I'm so excited it's Halloween. I haven't dressed up since college."
<everyone looks at her confused>
Zoewy S: "I mean high school... Damn it!"

"So is he a twinkie?" - Sara W

"If I had Hiro's powers, I would totally go back in time and see Jesus." - Dustin

"Are you kidding? I'm bringing apartheid back." - Jamie C

"I have rabies. I have yellow fever. I have typhoid. That's what immuni... immuni... immuni... That's what shots are for." - Jamie C

"Ooh, nice box... WOAH!" - EJ P

"Haha, you said 'Afflebees.'" - Justin D

"Gonorrhea makes you pretty." - Kristi[e] R

Dustin: "It's okay. I'll hump you later."
Sara W: "That's okay. Can we change the channel?"

Zoewy S: "I never say 'no' to guys."
<everyone snickers>
Zoewy S: "You know what I mean!"

<Dustin attempting to read the quote wall>
Sara W: <fed up> "Can you read?!"

"My uterus is trying to kill me... It's trying to tell me I'm not pregnant again. Yay!" - Sara W

<looking at a CD>
"Hey! I know that buffalo!" - Sara W

Jamie C: "I've done partners with balls."
Sara W: "Me too!"

[re: Me]
"If people think you're a little off, it's because you're Asian." - Sara W

"That's the sound of stilettos hitting a puddle. Splish splash... Is that a song? No. It's a sound." - Luis S

"It would be a while before you can give a blowjob." - Sara W

Zoewy S: "I'm at my house. Can you guys stop talking about blowjobs for five seconds?"
Dustin S: "Who are you talking to?"
Zoewy S: "My dad."

"I'm a Carpenter." - Jamie C

"But it's gonna be unkempt first because you have to let it grow out first."- Danielle H

"His foreskin wrapped around my throat." - Danielle H

"The miles and miles of crusty foreskin." - Zoewy S

Zoewy S: "Remember when you told me that story about how you swallowed the foreskin?"
Sara W: "...No."

"Are you guys talking about foreskin again?" - Sara W

Zoewy S: "I'm gonna go to Neverland."
Danielle H: "Neverland... as in Neverland Ranch?"

[re: Playing Imaginiff. "Imagine if Zoewy could be an emotion, she would be..."]
<everyone but Sarah M and I puts down "glee">
Sarah M / Duber: "What?! She's not glee!"
Sarah M: "She's clearly RAGE!"

[re: On the subway]
Girl 1: "I really like yogurt."
Girl 2: "I hate frozen yogurt. It's not because it's frozen yogurt but it's... Frozen. Yogurt."

<later>
Girl 2: "Do you know they make green tea toothpaste?"
Girl 1: "Really?"
Girl 3: "Yeah, it's like how they make bubblegum toothpaste but it tastes like... you know..."
Girl 2: "Green tea?"
Girl 3: "Exactly!"

[re: Transferring to a different subway]
Different Girl 1: "Oh my god, did you hear that Mark and Ashley slept together?"
Different Girl 2: "Really?"
Different Girl 1: "Yeah, she totally got knocked up."

[re: Transferring to a third subway]
Conductor: "Transfers available to the 4 and 5 trains. However, they are running local. There are no express trains today."
Girl Sitting Down in Front of Us: "Express trains are nice."
Girl Sitting Next To Her: "Yeah."

<happily> "I miss my stepfather... Too bad he's in jail." - Kristi[e] R

Sarah M: "You had the mat!"
Nick B: "No! You had the mat!"
Sarah M: "I did not have the mat! You had the mat!"
Nick B: "No! I gave the mat to you!"

<later>
"You should ask them who has the mat?" - Natalie H

"A six-letter word is 'owl.'" - Dustin

[re: There's a knock on our door]
Kristi[e] R: "Is the party still going on?"
Duber: "...That was yesterday."
Kristi[e] R: "Damn it. Why do I keep doing this?"

[re: Scattergories]
Raul I: "Things in the sky: Terrorists."
Jamie:"You're terrible."

Jamie: "Smells good, whatever you're making."
Duber: "...Toast?"

Kristi[e] R: <to Dustin> "That's because you've never been spanked while wearing a school girl's skirt."
Duber: "That's what YOU think."

"Just scratch is cluster region; He'll like it." - Sarah M

Kristi[e] R: "Do something to piss us off... like... fluff up our hair and call us Sally."
Jon W: "I'm gonna have a cigarette."

[re: Advanced Modern Chinese class... Professor Wu is talking about metaphors and similies]
Wu lao-shi: "Life is like... what was that?"
Girl in Class: "A box of chocolates."
Wu lao-shi: "A box of chocolates? Why is that?"
Someone: "Because you never know what you're gonna get!"
Wu lao-shi: "Really? A box of chocolates, you get chocolates."

"There's something salty in my mouth and I don't know what it is." - Jamie C

[re: Trying to figure out if Mickii has an accent]
Dustin: "How do you say T-A-L-K?"
Mickii C: "T-A-L-K... Wait, that's talk."

[re: Jon holds the box of soda Sara's buying]
Sara W: "You're useful!"
Sara's Mom: "You're a gentleman! That's what you say! Not 'you're useful!' I trained you better than that."

[re: Trying to find a parking space in a parking deck]
Jon W: "I found a spot... but it has a car in it."
Sara W: "You found a spot but it has a car in it? Did anyone explain to you the concept of parking?"

Leighanne T: "It's so annoying that I have to park over there and walk all the way here."
Mike A: "Waa, my name is Leighanne and I don't like to walk."

[re: At my Student Life Marketing job. My boss is telling us what work needs to get done]
Mike A: "Wait, right click, move to trash."
<everyone looks around confused>
Sam V: "What?"
Mike A: "I meant to say forget those flyers. I realized what I said after I said that... I've been staring at the computer for too long."

"I'm 25 which means I'm in my late 30s." - Dustin

"Want to name our kids after countries? I have friends that are named London and Asia--Those aren't countries." - Dustin

Joy B: "Jayden's Spiderman now."
Dustin: "He's Spiderman now? All this time I thought it was..."
Amy O: "Batman!"

"Oh! So you can Eiffel Tower!" - Julia R

[re: Walking from the Grease Trucks back to Sarah M's house in the pouring rain]
"Where's the water coming from?! Where's the water coming from?!"" -Apparently everyone who didn't understand the concept of rain

[re: The kittens, Bailey and Charlotte]
Dustin: <picks up Bailey and starts speaking Spanish>
Jamie C: "Bailey, I didn't know you speak Spanish!"
Dustin as Bailey: "Si!"
Dustin: <picks up Charlotte>
Duber: "Does Charlotte speak Spanish as well?"
Dustin as Charlotte: <speaks French>
Duber: "Charlotte speaks French?"
Jamie C: "She's snobby like that."

"Me llamo Bailey! Soy gato! Quiero queso!" - Duber as Bailey

[re: Dustin is eating tortilla chips and Bailey starts licking the closed jar of cheese salsa]
Dustin: "Bailey! Stop it! That's disgusting..."
Duber: "What? She's just a gato that wants some queso."

EJ P: "Oh, Dustin, do you still want to go to APICHA?"
Dustin: "Oh, I'm HIV negative."
Kathy V: "Oh, you know you're blood type?"

[re: Any time someone has a delayed response]
"Wow, okay Ten-Second Kathy." - Sandra R